I started the day with tears.
As often, a sleepless night turned into a sluggish morning where I succumbed to bedroom comforts and became victim to sleep inertia.
And whilst I briefly considered the idea of giving up ‘doom-scrolling’ this Lent, no real implementation efforts have been made and I, too willingly, reached for my iPad as my eyes began to open.
It has become quite a habit that after reading the daily verse on my Bible app, I check my emails and messages before launching Instagram in search of that alluring hit of dopamine many of us have sadly become addicted to.
After skimming through the latest posts and stories from friends and accounts that I follow, I switched to the explore feed which has become somewhat of my go-to source for newsworthy content, especially with regards to entertainment and pop culture.
There I see, as I aimlessly scroll, a post by actor James Van Der Beek; one which I had actually saved a week or so ago, hoping to watch in full whenever I chose to spare the time.
In my lazy, part-remorseful state having slept in again, I figured now was that time.
James’ words struck me at the heart and I could not hold back the tears as they flowed from my eyes onto my pillow.
This man I don’t know personally, though an integral part of my youth as the lead character in Dawson’s Creek, a husband and father of six children, now battling stage 3 colorectal cancer, tells us in this video with grace and heartfelt sincerity, that we are worthy of love. More specifically that;
We worthy are of God’s love, just as we are.
For someone who had always felt like he was defined by his job or his role in society to now recognise his worth just for existing, was a great reminder to me in my own struggles with striving and perfection.
Even though I already know this truth as a believer, I needed to hear the words again: “You are worthy of God’s love.”
Perhaps my belief doesn’t run as deep as it should, why else would I be wallowing so much in my weaknesses and failures? Why else would I be longing to control everything, trying to do more and be more to prove myself to others? Why else would I be hiding in shame for the inadequate person I feel that I am most days?
We all need to be reminded that no matter what – whatever our status in our careers, relationships, economically or culturally, we are worthy of love outside of all of those things.
And to further James’ sentiment, we are loved.
Today’s tears are reflections of the love I know that God has for me; but which I have been struggling to receive and channel during this challenging season of life.
I must always remember that despite all of my mistakes and beyond all of my ambitions, the One who created me out of love, loves me just as I am.
God’s love is for each and every one of us. He made us worthy of it because He made us from it.
This love is what we’re living for.
